By Lyn J Rayner
Anger management is all control. For those who have anger management issues then who is in control when they are not? Most often it is the individual who is at the moment, the brunt of the angry outburst.
Its most difficult when one has a confrontation with an individual who has anger issues. The natural response for most individuals is to retaliate back with angry responses. When you stop to think about it, when this is happening neither party is controlling their anger. It comes down to who started it first.
It is important that if a person is caught up in a situation where they have become the brunt of an angry outburst from an individual who has a anger management problem, that they take control. Feeding the heat of the moment can only make the situation that much worse.
It is most difficult when someone is lashing out at you to keep your composure and your control, but out of the two of you really you are the one that is in control and you need to take this role.
If you are used to the angry outbursts from the individual who suffers from anger control problems then you have a good idea of their course of direction. You are going to be able to predict the next few moments. Perhaps they yell and shout and say really nothing. Or they may be very cruel and derogatory in their remarks. Maybe they slam cupboards or storm out the door.
By predicting what the course of action is in the heat of the moment you can pre-plan your reaction which will help you to keep your flaring anger under control. In other words you are making a plan of attack but based on defusing the situation not stimulating it. This will put you in control although you may not realize it at the time.
Often the silent treatment during an angry outburst that a person with anger management problems displays can make the situation even worse. The angered person is not getting a response with which he can justify his actions.
You have a couple of choices regarding a relationship with the angry person. If it is a family member or someone you have feelings for you do not want to shun them. This is no solution. They are worth fighting for, but not by allowing them to bring you down to their level of action.
If you truly want to take control of the angry situations then you would do well to utilize some anger management resources that will train you to do this. This however, is just an interim fix. The full solution is to guide the person with anger management problems into seeking help for themselves.
If you have a family member or friend that is real need of some anger management help then you can find lots of support for your role in helping them at http://www.livinglifearticles.com.